I want (Self-awareness and self-regulation) 

The world we live is full of diversity, uncountable bright and dark colours, human preferences, and the diversity of ideas. Notwithstanding this diversity, there are two main directions widely acknowledged by the people: good or bad, right or wrong. 

We are born, and from the very first moments of growing up, are strictly required to feel the life rhythm exactly with the pulse which is beating around us from the moment of our birth. We grow up incredibly fast and shortly realize that we are adults. The struggle with one’s self starts from the age of independence that is followed by many questions: 

• Who am I and who I want to be?
• What do I want and like?
• Do I have what I want and like?

Knowing oneself - self-awareness is the greatest treasure what human can gain at the start of adult life. If a person finds the correct answers to the above-listed questions and takes time for himself/herself in solitude, will discover the unique information which exclusively concerns only him/her on all over our planet. 

The perception of a person’s success has two aspects: the private and professional life. Private and professional lives also have generally acknowledged dogmas, which people have to comply with, to be associated with a particular community or the mass. Ex.: if the private life in our society is only defined by marriage, we as the members of a particular social group are automatically expected to fulfil this custom whether our personal “self” wants or likes it or not. The next example is connected with the professional career, that, due to the surrounding peoples’ impositions on how one is supposed to “definitely become a doctor, politician or a representative of other professions perceived as important, because the society needs people of those professions”, is settled in the human minds from the small age. In case of falling under such influence while making a decision in private and professional life, as a rule, only small percentage achieves success, because of one simple reason: the decision made by them was chosen for them by others and his/her personal “self” could not participate in the process of making that decision. 

After self-awareness, the second vital task is self-regulation, which gives us the opportunity of self- management according to the answers to the questions which will be received after a successful passing of the first stage – self-awareness: 

• What do I do to become the kind of person I want to be?
• Do I do or not do things for what I want and like?
• How correctly do I follow the life aim chosen by me?

The answers to these simple questions, along with the right actions, will draw us a realistic picture of our unique "self" in the present, past, and future.  

I understand you (Empathy and social skills) 

After self-awareness and self-regulation, we analyze that thinking and acting only for ourselves cannot give us the desired results because we do not live isolated, but together with different people - in a society. 

According to the written and unwritten laws and rules, self-awareness and self-regulation should not hurt the surrounding people. It is unfair to exploit and/or neglect our close persons or strangers in our society for the sake of own benefit. Empathy and social skills are the abilities to feel others’ emotions like own, the ability to express sympathy, praise, thank, help, or just give a hug. Empathy and social skills teach us the culture and art of listening, the ability to hear and sympathize with the people different from us, when we can look at life from others’ perspectives. We need the mentioned skills to manage effectively our private or business relationships in the diverse society where we live. By the right combination of self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills we try to establish relationships with diverse individuals in different parts of society that underpin our successful life. The last question, for assessing our empathy and social skills, is: 

What are my relationships with the society: family members, friends, colleges, familiar and unfamiliar people from different fields - how well do I know and understand them?

We improve these four directions of emotional intelligence with self-motivation that constantly supports us in determining the positive details beyond each mishap which gives us a new push in our life despite obstacles.  

Every obstacle in life is the beginning of our next success! 

“I want to and can understand you”

Author: Dr. Nino Kekelidze

Affiliate Associate Professor at Georgian National University SEU. 

Upload date: 2023-02-26